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I have agreed to volunteer and have signed up for NUCalls classes that fit my schedule a bit too perfectly--on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, I literally have almost no time for breathing. Once I'm done with one thing I have only enough time to physically get myself to the next thing before I have to be there. I think I'm going to die.
I still have weekends, Fridays, and most of Tuesdays completely free, though, which I did on purpose because I think it should be an asset in getting a job.
THough with the shit economy, who knows.
I've also noticed that I've gotten a lot more independent. I think this is largely because of my vast amounts of free time that I haven't managed to fill with a job, the weather being more cooperative for that stint, and my meeting new friends who are willing to adventure with me.
I have issues with the train...old issues that I've mostly gotten over enough that I am definitely capable of riding it, but I still don't *like* to. I get nervous when I commit to going to places that are really far away by public transportation, because I don't like the idea that I've also committed to going BACK on the train that much distance.
But I think, in at least some sense, I'm getting over that, too--even if only a little. I like the idea of exploring a bit, given time and favorable weather...and I *definitely* like knowing where things are and being able to fit a mental image of a place to a name on a map or a train route.
So yesterday, I met![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
xnotyourangelx (first time I've ever met an *LJ* friend IRL, yay!) in the morning, and we spent the day wandering around to various parts of the city, browsing various stores for foreign books and generally hanging out. And it was *awesome*, I'm so glad we did it ^^
Afterwards, I went back to Arlington to go rock climbing...but it felt somehow different from how it normally does.
I guess that I'm the sort of person who feels a really strong tie to where they feel like they live. That's why straying far from it on the train is so stressful to me--because I see going somewhere as being a go-and-come-back equation.
But I guess when I came back to my parents' house today, it felt like I was visiting, not like it was actually my house. And I mean, ever since I went to school it's felt less and less like where I actually live, but this time it seriously just felt like...a place where I could sleep. And so then today, when I left with Elisabeth to go to see Julia and Jeff, it just felt like...not like I was leaving home. I was on my *way* home...back to my dorm in Boston.
This is a really strange concept to me, and I am finding it really difficult to explain without rambling on for another handful of paragraphs. But it pretty much represents a fundamental change in how I think about where I belong and what it means to leave it. And that makes me feel less tied down, and thus, more independent. I think it's more that the mental bonds that grew into me when I was sick are starting to stretch and snap a bit, and that leaves me feeling refreshed, renewed, and more able to *deal* with myself and my life.
This has gotten more rambly than I ever intended, so I think I'm going to stop here--with a link to the New York Times making reference to the place I went climbing in Mexico. I'm impressed. It seemed like such an obscure little place.
I still have weekends, Fridays, and most of Tuesdays completely free, though, which I did on purpose because I think it should be an asset in getting a job.
THough with the shit economy, who knows.
I've also noticed that I've gotten a lot more independent. I think this is largely because of my vast amounts of free time that I haven't managed to fill with a job, the weather being more cooperative for that stint, and my meeting new friends who are willing to adventure with me.
I have issues with the train...old issues that I've mostly gotten over enough that I am definitely capable of riding it, but I still don't *like* to. I get nervous when I commit to going to places that are really far away by public transportation, because I don't like the idea that I've also committed to going BACK on the train that much distance.
But I think, in at least some sense, I'm getting over that, too--even if only a little. I like the idea of exploring a bit, given time and favorable weather...and I *definitely* like knowing where things are and being able to fit a mental image of a place to a name on a map or a train route.
So yesterday, I met
xnotyourangelx (first time I've ever met an *LJ* friend IRL, yay!) in the morning, and we spent the day wandering around to various parts of the city, browsing various stores for foreign books and generally hanging out. And it was *awesome*, I'm so glad we did it ^^ Afterwards, I went back to Arlington to go rock climbing...but it felt somehow different from how it normally does.
I guess that I'm the sort of person who feels a really strong tie to where they feel like they live. That's why straying far from it on the train is so stressful to me--because I see going somewhere as being a go-and-come-back equation.
But I guess when I came back to my parents' house today, it felt like I was visiting, not like it was actually my house. And I mean, ever since I went to school it's felt less and less like where I actually live, but this time it seriously just felt like...a place where I could sleep. And so then today, when I left with Elisabeth to go to see Julia and Jeff, it just felt like...not like I was leaving home. I was on my *way* home...back to my dorm in Boston.
This is a really strange concept to me, and I am finding it really difficult to explain without rambling on for another handful of paragraphs. But it pretty much represents a fundamental change in how I think about where I belong and what it means to leave it. And that makes me feel less tied down, and thus, more independent. I think it's more that the mental bonds that grew into me when I was sick are starting to stretch and snap a bit, and that leaves me feeling refreshed, renewed, and more able to *deal* with myself and my life.
This has gotten more rambly than I ever intended, so I think I'm going to stop here--with a link to the New York Times making reference to the place I went climbing in Mexico. I'm impressed. It seemed like such an obscure little place.
