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Life feels like it keeps changing. In general, it changes for the better, but there are some troubling and worrisome things. I feel like I'm drawing more into myself, putting more of myself into Ray, and less into the other people in my life. Where that has been happening most profoundly, I feel like it's at least partly (if not mostly) also the fault of the other people, but it's still strange to realize that I'm basically spending all my time with West F'ers, and talking online with Ray.
I feel like my mood has been afflicted by the poor weather, and the general Marchiness. I hate March; it feels like it drags on forever, and it's so cold and gross and in the suburbs there are even moments where it feels like it's fall. Fall is so not something I need to be thinking about right now; I need warmth and sunlight and hope to clear my head. It occurs to me that I'm an extremely delicate person, psychologically.
I'm dealing with the Marchiness by already mentally preparing for the year to be over. I have moved a lot of my excess stuff out of my room, in an attempt to make move-out day more manageable for me and my family. I also talked to my parents about a year-lease in Arizona, and they seem open to talking about it and seeing what is entailed.
While I was at home (I went home this weekend) and I was thinking about what stuff I could bring home, I was also thinking about a lot of the stuff that I did leave at home that I hadn't thought about. It occurs to me that I have a whole ton of stuff that I *think* I need, but in reality don't actually...and I want to try to purge some of it, like in a yard sale or something. I feel much better about things when I don't have sooo much random crap to deal with, and it especially doesn't need to be kicking around where I won't use it. So, I have set down some major goals for the summer:
-get a FULL TIME job
-hold a yard sale to try to get rid of some of my stuff
-figure out housing in AZ, figure out other logistics
-get my driver's licence, even if I don't really have much intention of using it
-uhm...I forget what else.
I still need to get through the rest of school, though, before I can even really start thinking about this stuff. Next week is going to be crazy, but I think if I can survive it, then I can survive the rest of the semester.
Just thinking about my life in a more transitional sense has totally changed the way that I look at the world, my posessions, my mental state, and my interactions. Life seems to be moving so fast and slow at the same time. I just hope I don't crash and burn.
I feel like my mood has been afflicted by the poor weather, and the general Marchiness. I hate March; it feels like it drags on forever, and it's so cold and gross and in the suburbs there are even moments where it feels like it's fall. Fall is so not something I need to be thinking about right now; I need warmth and sunlight and hope to clear my head. It occurs to me that I'm an extremely delicate person, psychologically.
I'm dealing with the Marchiness by already mentally preparing for the year to be over. I have moved a lot of my excess stuff out of my room, in an attempt to make move-out day more manageable for me and my family. I also talked to my parents about a year-lease in Arizona, and they seem open to talking about it and seeing what is entailed.
While I was at home (I went home this weekend) and I was thinking about what stuff I could bring home, I was also thinking about a lot of the stuff that I did leave at home that I hadn't thought about. It occurs to me that I have a whole ton of stuff that I *think* I need, but in reality don't actually...and I want to try to purge some of it, like in a yard sale or something. I feel much better about things when I don't have sooo much random crap to deal with, and it especially doesn't need to be kicking around where I won't use it. So, I have set down some major goals for the summer:
-get a FULL TIME job
-hold a yard sale to try to get rid of some of my stuff
-figure out housing in AZ, figure out other logistics
-get my driver's licence, even if I don't really have much intention of using it
-uhm...I forget what else.
I still need to get through the rest of school, though, before I can even really start thinking about this stuff. Next week is going to be crazy, but I think if I can survive it, then I can survive the rest of the semester.
Just thinking about my life in a more transitional sense has totally changed the way that I look at the world, my posessions, my mental state, and my interactions. Life seems to be moving so fast and slow at the same time. I just hope I don't crash and burn.
