Feb. 26th, 2012

arrowwhiskers: (Default)
So, this might just be because I had a cup of iced tea tonight followed by a glass of Coke after like. Almost a week of not consuming much caffeine, but...I have so much energy right now. A shaky, slightly-sleep deprived sort of energy, but energy nonetheless. And I feel a fragile sense of well-being, like maybe I'm kind of *okay* right now and maybe this would be like, the *perfect moment* for an adventure.

Too bad it's 5.45 in the morning...wouldn't be the first time my body has had awful timing, I guess. :\ The most annoying part is that the odds are very, very good that in 6 hours when everyone else is awake and wanting to do things, I will be back to my sickly, exhausted self and totally useless. *le sigh*. I am crossing my fingers that it doesn't work out that way, though. :)

I mostly just want to *do something* with this energy. Something useful or productive. I would music, but that would wake everyone else. I would art, but I actually arted last night for the first time in ages and frustrated myself with my limitations, again. I think I need to come up with a new approach to or mental framework for art so that I can actually start to enjoy it again. Crafting seems too ambitious for my current restless state of mind.

I have actually (possibly unfortunately), been suffering corruption from my awesome Esperantist LJ friends who have been tempting me to actually pick up Esperanto-learning resources for the first time in 10 years. Tonight alone, I worked through 30 super-beginner lessons on lernu.net and I want so desperately to do more. Unfortunately, by #30 my brain was starting to twitch and turn itself inside out, so I think in the interest of actually absorbing anything, further investigation should wait. I'm not sure why Esperanto seems like a good idea right now--possibly because of how familiar it is, plus how quickly I know it's possible to make progress. I am so frustrated with everything else right now (mostly with Spanish, because I feel like I keep fighting and fighting and the reward is: stagnance), so a change of pace and scenery is kind of nice. We'll see how long it lasts...I feel like unless I can actually find a real life friend who is willing to practice and speak Esperanto with me, I will inevitably start getting lazy and ultimately lose interest. But we'll see.

Totally unrelated, but the Melo is growing quite large. He is starting to really get noticeable weight to him, which I notice as he crawls across my lap or when I support him with my hands. I should probably take some pictures and post them here before he turns into a total and irreversible fatass like the other three. xD He's a cutie.

Super apologies if this isn't really all that coherent. I'm probably not even half as awake as I think I am.

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