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But I swear, there are severe morale issues associated with school. I got dismissed at around 10.30 to go to the doctor, and as soon as I exited the school building, I felt my mood lift. It's totally a psychological thing, not a physical thing; I'd had a headache all morning, and felt faint, and even now that still hasn't gone away. I've continued to feel like crap, but outside of school it felt more like it didn't matter. Inside it's like a prison, and any physical ailments are weighted down by the fact that one has no freedom, that one has to remain in the dreary establishment until 2.30 in the afternoon. But today, I didn't! It was an amazing feeling. ^-^
So anyway, after I left school, mom and I ran off to MIT so I could have some more tests. So they can tell me I'm still anemic and other stuff. And after that I met with a therapist, who asked me about a bazillion questions and my mom a bazillion more. She was very nice, but she had the kind of false cheeriness about her that seems almost stereotypical in people of her profession. Even so, our conversations were almost refreshing, since for once in my life, I didn't have to explain everything; she knew and understood things that most people have to interrogate me about, and even then don't understand. I don't know why I can't sleep—I just can't. I don't know why I'm scared to death of all these things—I just am. She didn't need me to tell her that, and she accepted these unvoiced thoughts seemingly automatically. It was nice, though it was strange telling someone who I didn't know all sorts of things I've never told anyone before. She wants me to start seeing someone consistently, which would be okay, except that I'm not really sure it's the best way to waste money—just to have an understanding person talking to me. My problems are more physical than psychological at this point, anyway.
In any case, the whole medical...excursion took an hour or two, and then mom and I were free for the rest of the day. I went to the Humanities and took out a couple of books to aid me in the paper I have to write tonight, and then mom went and picked up one of her finished pots at the studio. We got to walk around campus in the sunshine; and it -was- a beautiful day. The sun glittered on the Charles and the wind was almost warm. It was highly reminiscent of my working days last summer, and it filled me with a feeling of ultimate freedom. I seriously can't wait to go back to my job, so I can use up my lunch hour taking lovely summer strolls along the river. It's just so liberating.
After we left MIT, mom and I still had some more time, so she took me to Winchester center, where a bead shop is. There was a quaint little book shop there, and though it really wasn't big enough to carry anything of interest, it was cute enough all the same. I waited around there while mom restocked her bead collections. I like Winchester—it's center is really small and compact, and it has a really old-fashioned feeling to it. Likely because all of the buildings are made of bricks, and the signs all look the same. It was odd, there was a Starbucks and a Dunkin Donuts right next to eachother, but they were ostensibly the same place, since their signs were all pine green etched wood, and from a distance my poor vision couldn't really discern a difference between them. Everything was uniform, which would get dull for a while if I had to visit often, but for one trip it was cute.
As mom and I were driving home, I thought up a list of all the things I want to do or get accomplished this coming summer. I know it's a lot to do, and considering my health, it's rather unlikely that I'll be able to do even half, but I think it's a good idea to have a plan, just in case. Summer goals--
1. Work every week day except Mondays
2. Start playing DDR again (Perhaps run to the arcade during lunch break XD)
3. Learn all about ripping DVDs--getting good quality mpegs/avis, and perhaps even learning how to configure real DVDs, depends. ^^
4. Continue to attend weekly guitar and Japanese lessons
5. Take driver's ed
6. Get reaccquainted with my inner Esperantist
7. Host a foreign exchange student
8. Go on long bike rides at LEAST once a week
9. Read the beautiful history book that I've been neglecting
Whee, I can't wait for summer. x_X Junior year, begone...
Oh, but here's something interesting--I actually found a college that I might be remotely interested in attending. It's Pomona College in southern California. It's appealing in that it offers linguistics, international relations, Japanese, German, French, AND Spanish...and the location looks absolutely beautiful. It's a co-ed school, and far smaller than I'd like, but the size is my only problem with it, and I can deal. I figure that since it's only 35 miles from Los Angeles, I can go get lost in the city any time I start to feel that the community is a little too claustrophobic. Kaii lives out near there, too...^^! Anyway, I'm not sure I'm completely sold, but it's the first college that's interested me since Middlebury, or the small school in Swizterland, and I MUCH prefer the thought of California to rural Vermont or across the Atlantic. So I'll just have to see, though I might not even be able to get in anyway. XD
I'm also happy because I managed to convert Carol to my obsessive linguistic...ways. She wants to learn Spanish now, too. XD I hope she does, because it's just amazing to imagine the conversations we could have. Hybrid langauge--like an inside joke. And we're the only people interested anyway. Carol, you're my bestest friend in the whole entire world, and you have been for a great number of years. I absolutely love you forever, if only because you're every ounce as crazy as I am, and quite a bit smarter. *luff* I'm so flattered that my passions have rubbed off on you.
That said, I'm going to go work on my English paper. WHich is going to suck since it's going to be all MY ideas, and have scarcely anything to cite. But I'm determined not to worry about it, mwee. ^___^ Happy Cinco de Mayo!
~Rai
So anyway, after I left school, mom and I ran off to MIT so I could have some more tests. So they can tell me I'm still anemic and other stuff. And after that I met with a therapist, who asked me about a bazillion questions and my mom a bazillion more. She was very nice, but she had the kind of false cheeriness about her that seems almost stereotypical in people of her profession. Even so, our conversations were almost refreshing, since for once in my life, I didn't have to explain everything; she knew and understood things that most people have to interrogate me about, and even then don't understand. I don't know why I can't sleep—I just can't. I don't know why I'm scared to death of all these things—I just am. She didn't need me to tell her that, and she accepted these unvoiced thoughts seemingly automatically. It was nice, though it was strange telling someone who I didn't know all sorts of things I've never told anyone before. She wants me to start seeing someone consistently, which would be okay, except that I'm not really sure it's the best way to waste money—just to have an understanding person talking to me. My problems are more physical than psychological at this point, anyway.
In any case, the whole medical...excursion took an hour or two, and then mom and I were free for the rest of the day. I went to the Humanities and took out a couple of books to aid me in the paper I have to write tonight, and then mom went and picked up one of her finished pots at the studio. We got to walk around campus in the sunshine; and it -was- a beautiful day. The sun glittered on the Charles and the wind was almost warm. It was highly reminiscent of my working days last summer, and it filled me with a feeling of ultimate freedom. I seriously can't wait to go back to my job, so I can use up my lunch hour taking lovely summer strolls along the river. It's just so liberating.
After we left MIT, mom and I still had some more time, so she took me to Winchester center, where a bead shop is. There was a quaint little book shop there, and though it really wasn't big enough to carry anything of interest, it was cute enough all the same. I waited around there while mom restocked her bead collections. I like Winchester—it's center is really small and compact, and it has a really old-fashioned feeling to it. Likely because all of the buildings are made of bricks, and the signs all look the same. It was odd, there was a Starbucks and a Dunkin Donuts right next to eachother, but they were ostensibly the same place, since their signs were all pine green etched wood, and from a distance my poor vision couldn't really discern a difference between them. Everything was uniform, which would get dull for a while if I had to visit often, but for one trip it was cute.
As mom and I were driving home, I thought up a list of all the things I want to do or get accomplished this coming summer. I know it's a lot to do, and considering my health, it's rather unlikely that I'll be able to do even half, but I think it's a good idea to have a plan, just in case. Summer goals--
1. Work every week day except Mondays
2. Start playing DDR again (Perhaps run to the arcade during lunch break XD)
3. Learn all about ripping DVDs--getting good quality mpegs/avis, and perhaps even learning how to configure real DVDs, depends. ^^
4. Continue to attend weekly guitar and Japanese lessons
5. Take driver's ed
6. Get reaccquainted with my inner Esperantist
7. Host a foreign exchange student
8. Go on long bike rides at LEAST once a week
9. Read the beautiful history book that I've been neglecting
Whee, I can't wait for summer. x_X Junior year, begone...
Oh, but here's something interesting--I actually found a college that I might be remotely interested in attending. It's Pomona College in southern California. It's appealing in that it offers linguistics, international relations, Japanese, German, French, AND Spanish...and the location looks absolutely beautiful. It's a co-ed school, and far smaller than I'd like, but the size is my only problem with it, and I can deal. I figure that since it's only 35 miles from Los Angeles, I can go get lost in the city any time I start to feel that the community is a little too claustrophobic. Kaii lives out near there, too...^^! Anyway, I'm not sure I'm completely sold, but it's the first college that's interested me since Middlebury, or the small school in Swizterland, and I MUCH prefer the thought of California to rural Vermont or across the Atlantic. So I'll just have to see, though I might not even be able to get in anyway. XD
I'm also happy because I managed to convert Carol to my obsessive linguistic...ways. She wants to learn Spanish now, too. XD I hope she does, because it's just amazing to imagine the conversations we could have. Hybrid langauge--like an inside joke. And we're the only people interested anyway. Carol, you're my bestest friend in the whole entire world, and you have been for a great number of years. I absolutely love you forever, if only because you're every ounce as crazy as I am, and quite a bit smarter. *luff* I'm so flattered that my passions have rubbed off on you.
That said, I'm going to go work on my English paper. WHich is going to suck since it's going to be all MY ideas, and have scarcely anything to cite. But I'm determined not to worry about it, mwee. ^___^ Happy Cinco de Mayo!
~Rai
