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First off, I'd like to thank all the amazing, wonderful people who helped me get through these past 4-5 miserable days, even if it was just by sending me a text, or answering a phone call...reminding me that there are people in the world that still know and care about me.
( tl;dr )
I have been having a wave of emotions about everything and anything, not only because of all this but because my flight was delayed on the way home, I missed my connection, and I ended up shivering my way through last night on the floor of an airport in Denver. So please forgive me the melodrama.
But...I feel like there is nothing that will make me feel truly happy again; like the one thing I had to look forward to is wrecked, and now what is there left for me? I know that these feelings will pass, and that I have to allow myself to let go of them just as much as I submit to them right now. But at the moment, I really just need to feel the pain and despair, because I did fuck up, worse than I could have imagined. And I really don't know what's going to happen to me. All I know is that life does, and must, go on.
( tl;dr )I have been having a wave of emotions about everything and anything, not only because of all this but because my flight was delayed on the way home, I missed my connection, and I ended up shivering my way through last night on the floor of an airport in Denver. So please forgive me the melodrama.
But...I feel like there is nothing that will make me feel truly happy again; like the one thing I had to look forward to is wrecked, and now what is there left for me? I know that these feelings will pass, and that I have to allow myself to let go of them just as much as I submit to them right now. But at the moment, I really just need to feel the pain and despair, because I did fuck up, worse than I could have imagined. And I really don't know what's going to happen to me. All I know is that life does, and must, go on.
