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Taking charge
Jun. 13th, 2010 11:03 pm...of my own space. That has been the crowning achievement of this weekend, as I finally impressed upon my mom that I really, desperately needed a workspace that isn't on the mattress on the floor. We moved a cabinet and a bookshelf out of this room and put a table here instead, and it's incredible how much more comfortable the room is and how much more productive I feel now that I actually have something that resembles a desk. She has also offered to try to provide me with an actual dresser rather than piling my clothes on the top of an old bureau occupied by random stuff of hers, and if that happens, I think there might even be a little bit of wiggle-room in here o.O It'll definitely make it much easier to navigate the space and keep it organized, a prospect I very much appreciate.
I feel restless and frustrated, and I think my fears are slowly being realized: I'm falling back into my default unsatisfying lifestyle that only Guatemala managed to change. I'm losing sight of bigger goals and inspirations in favor of obsessing unhelpfully on smaller, personal/egocentric, day-to-day problems (at the moment, illness), and I'm getting more and more reclusive, happy to spend days at a time chatting on the internet and thinking how I'd REALLY love to catch up with people in person, at any moment that isn't right now. Or right now. Or right now.
I'm trying to stay positive though, and I've been reading a LOT, which will probably soon be even more as I'm looking through old books and weeding them and deciding that there are a bunch that I always meant to finish and never did, and am now determined to power through them so that they can be whisked away and not clutter up my parents' house anymore.
On that note, if any Arlington people want to come and check the growing pile of books I'm giving away, just let me know--you are fully welcome.
Things have been in general kind of tough. I'm trying to keep my morale high, even despite continuing days and weeks of feeling crappy and having a very aggravated, frustrating relationship to food...but aside from vague bouts of despair on truly unhappy/bad health days, things have been going pretty alright. I figure if the Guatemalans can find the strength and courage to carry on even after countless tragedies befall them and they lack the resources to contend with disaster, then surely I can put up with a little bit of adversity in my life. (If you have not heard of the crap going on in Guatemala, this is a pretty decent and comprehensive photographic exhibition: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/06/a_rough_week_for_guatemala.html ).
There's not really much else to report. I hope the summer has been going well for everybody else.
I feel restless and frustrated, and I think my fears are slowly being realized: I'm falling back into my default unsatisfying lifestyle that only Guatemala managed to change. I'm losing sight of bigger goals and inspirations in favor of obsessing unhelpfully on smaller, personal/egocentric, day-to-day problems (at the moment, illness), and I'm getting more and more reclusive, happy to spend days at a time chatting on the internet and thinking how I'd REALLY love to catch up with people in person, at any moment that isn't right now. Or right now. Or right now.
I'm trying to stay positive though, and I've been reading a LOT, which will probably soon be even more as I'm looking through old books and weeding them and deciding that there are a bunch that I always meant to finish and never did, and am now determined to power through them so that they can be whisked away and not clutter up my parents' house anymore.
On that note, if any Arlington people want to come and check the growing pile of books I'm giving away, just let me know--you are fully welcome.
Things have been in general kind of tough. I'm trying to keep my morale high, even despite continuing days and weeks of feeling crappy and having a very aggravated, frustrating relationship to food...but aside from vague bouts of despair on truly unhappy/bad health days, things have been going pretty alright. I figure if the Guatemalans can find the strength and courage to carry on even after countless tragedies befall them and they lack the resources to contend with disaster, then surely I can put up with a little bit of adversity in my life. (If you have not heard of the crap going on in Guatemala, this is a pretty decent and comprehensive photographic exhibition: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2010/06/a_rough_week_for_guatemala.html ).
There's not really much else to report. I hope the summer has been going well for everybody else.
