I fail at social things.
Aug. 28th, 2008 08:58 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
arrowwhiskersToday was the first day of the superlong break between classes--nothing to do between 10.45 and 4.00. I actually took the shuttle back to my apartment and did nothing there. It's a decent amount of time, I mean you COULD do something with it, but it's still annoying having to go back just for a stupid recetation. I most definitely want to live closer, if not on campus next year.
The recetation itself was really good, though...the TA who teaches it is much more pleasant than the stupid prof (and er, kinda hot), and I asked a lot of questions on purpose to be sure he noticed me. Ha. From what I got of the discussion, it seems like I've been perceiving of lift and pressure and air density completely wrong since...well, for my whole life, actually...and I sort of have the *vocabulary* to explain it right but not the understanding. I want to understand it better but I'm too worn out to ponder it right now.
After the recetation I went to the freshmen honors open house, received a free frisbee, and partook of free pizza. It was nice being around so many obviously geeky people, but it was so frustrating because they mostly knew eachother (from dorms/classes/whatever), and when they were speaking they were mostly talking about these things and I felt like I had nothing to say to them. I had nothing in common with any of them because I'm not a freshman, I'm not living on campus. It just totally failed, I wish I could make conversations and connections and friends, but I just suck at it. It was miserable being in just the perfect position to meet a bunch of cool people and just...not meeting anyone at all. I felt like I annoyed and was awkward with most everyone I talked to, except for this one girl. I facebook friended her, so I guess that's cool but honestly--she's the type that you could smack on the head with a 4x4 and she'd still love and be friendly to you.
I left the party kind of deflated, and I just barely missed the 6.00 shuttle. Shortly afterwards it started raining, and I sat in a café on University Boulevard and spaced out, listening to the pounding droplets on the roof. On the 7.00 shuttle, it was already dark and the storm was at its height--in Tucson there is so much lightning and you can see for miles. When I got back to the complex I ran and got Ray and we stood on the outer hallway and watched the western skies light up for an entire hour. I have never seen lightning like this, sometimes it literally streaks across the sky such that you have to crane your head to follow it. Other times several bolts strike the mountains at once, or the clouds light up right overhead and it's nearly blinding. The lightning seems ceaseless, occurring every few seconds and sometimes more often, and if you look away for even an instant you might miss something. The land is so flat and the valley so vast you can see the mountains light up in every single direction with variations of the same storm. For my little northeastern brain, it's totally incredible.
I can't wait for it to be the weekend, so that I can get some things done, but at the same time I wish Monday weren't a holiday because 3 days seems too long. It's also going to be totally boring, because Ray is going back home to visit friends and family and I don't know what I should do with myself. I wish I were better at meeting people. Or...idk.
Something.
The recetation itself was really good, though...the TA who teaches it is much more pleasant than the stupid prof (and er, kinda hot), and I asked a lot of questions on purpose to be sure he noticed me. Ha. From what I got of the discussion, it seems like I've been perceiving of lift and pressure and air density completely wrong since...well, for my whole life, actually...and I sort of have the *vocabulary* to explain it right but not the understanding. I want to understand it better but I'm too worn out to ponder it right now.
After the recetation I went to the freshmen honors open house, received a free frisbee, and partook of free pizza. It was nice being around so many obviously geeky people, but it was so frustrating because they mostly knew eachother (from dorms/classes/whatever), and when they were speaking they were mostly talking about these things and I felt like I had nothing to say to them. I had nothing in common with any of them because I'm not a freshman, I'm not living on campus. It just totally failed, I wish I could make conversations and connections and friends, but I just suck at it. It was miserable being in just the perfect position to meet a bunch of cool people and just...not meeting anyone at all. I felt like I annoyed and was awkward with most everyone I talked to, except for this one girl. I facebook friended her, so I guess that's cool but honestly--she's the type that you could smack on the head with a 4x4 and she'd still love and be friendly to you.
I left the party kind of deflated, and I just barely missed the 6.00 shuttle. Shortly afterwards it started raining, and I sat in a café on University Boulevard and spaced out, listening to the pounding droplets on the roof. On the 7.00 shuttle, it was already dark and the storm was at its height--in Tucson there is so much lightning and you can see for miles. When I got back to the complex I ran and got Ray and we stood on the outer hallway and watched the western skies light up for an entire hour. I have never seen lightning like this, sometimes it literally streaks across the sky such that you have to crane your head to follow it. Other times several bolts strike the mountains at once, or the clouds light up right overhead and it's nearly blinding. The lightning seems ceaseless, occurring every few seconds and sometimes more often, and if you look away for even an instant you might miss something. The land is so flat and the valley so vast you can see the mountains light up in every single direction with variations of the same storm. For my little northeastern brain, it's totally incredible.
I can't wait for it to be the weekend, so that I can get some things done, but at the same time I wish Monday weren't a holiday because 3 days seems too long. It's also going to be totally boring, because Ray is going back home to visit friends and family and I don't know what I should do with myself. I wish I were better at meeting people. Or...idk.
Something.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 08:21 am (UTC)You should try joining a club or something. At least that way you'll know you have /something/ in common. Like if they have an anime club and you go to it, and it turns out their anime sucks (like it does with many clubs), then you can invite people over for pizza and anime. The fact that you're not a frosh and have your own place could turn out to be more of a blessing than a curse, not that it's a curse, but, yeah, idk.
It sucks to have nowhere to go and nobody to talk to during the weekends when you're in a place that's new and you really don't know anybody. It can feel, well, really fucktardedly lonesome >>
I can't actually think of a more depressing than the of feeling being alone in a room full of people...
At least you have Ray though, and I'm sure you'll meet more people as the days go on. You just have to put yourself out there.
Buena suerte chica. Recuerdas:
>><((+>
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming
Just keep swimming swimming swimming
What do we do we swim, swim, swim
OH HO HO How I love to swim
When you WAAAAAANNTTT to swim you want to swim
no subject
Date: 2008-08-29 01:24 pm (UTC)<3
*still attempting to wake up*