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arrowwhiskersToday has been so freaking wonky. In psychology we had a homework quiz in the form of an essay, which was just mean. I didn't finish.
But then we had that math test, the standard one, and it took place in this really cold room. I don't know if it really was really cold, or my sensitivity was in overdrive, but I think it was a little of both. For the first period of the test, I could literally feel the cold chipping at me. I did the first 8 or so problems, and then my brain slowed to a halt. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't do anything but shiver and think about how it was really damn cold.
I think I could have dealt with it if it had been just one period, like a normal class, and then we could have gotten up and left. But it was for 2 long periods, in that cold room. My defenses cracked and I started feeling really sick just around the time that the second period was starting. I put up with it for a while, but finally I asked to go to the bathroom, to faint or puke or something. The walk made me feel better and I returned, but the room, which was probably warmer by this point, still seemed to me incredibly cold, so I asked Dr. Geller and he let me go into another warmer room to finish the test. But I think it was too late by that point; even with my coat, in the warmth, I was shivering, shaking, and feeling very sick. I managed to wait until the end of the test though before getting a pass to the nurse.
On the way to her office, through the cold (to me, anyway) hallways, I thought I was going to fall over from shaking so hard.
When I got there the nurse asked me a couple of questions, which I answered, and then I waited in her office to feel better. Obviously, I didn't, and so I asked her if I could go home. This is the first time I've been dismissed since elementary school. Since she didn't really know me, she let me go, but because dad didn't have the car today, I had to take the bus and then walk home from the stop. That wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be; the bus came right away and the walk could almost have been pleasant if I had felt a little better and hadn't felt so starkly conspicuous, a student trekking home hours before the close of school.
I don't know what my issue is. It's as though my sanity and health is a spinning top...the slightest thing causes it to come off balance and crashing to a halt...and even if nothing happens to it, it slowly winds down to stasis anyway. EVERYTHING throws me off nowadays. Not enough sleep. Too much sleep. Eating. Not eating. And prolonged cold, as evidenced by today. I'm tired of being affected so adversely by everything I have to do. I don't know how to change it. Mom says that if I force myself to eat when I'm not hungry, then I'll have the energy to stay more healthy. Well, that's what I did last night. It doesn't seem to have helped too much.
And well, now that I'm home, I'm going to go curl up in bed and sulk.
~Rai
But then we had that math test, the standard one, and it took place in this really cold room. I don't know if it really was really cold, or my sensitivity was in overdrive, but I think it was a little of both. For the first period of the test, I could literally feel the cold chipping at me. I did the first 8 or so problems, and then my brain slowed to a halt. I couldn't concentrate, couldn't do anything but shiver and think about how it was really damn cold.
I think I could have dealt with it if it had been just one period, like a normal class, and then we could have gotten up and left. But it was for 2 long periods, in that cold room. My defenses cracked and I started feeling really sick just around the time that the second period was starting. I put up with it for a while, but finally I asked to go to the bathroom, to faint or puke or something. The walk made me feel better and I returned, but the room, which was probably warmer by this point, still seemed to me incredibly cold, so I asked Dr. Geller and he let me go into another warmer room to finish the test. But I think it was too late by that point; even with my coat, in the warmth, I was shivering, shaking, and feeling very sick. I managed to wait until the end of the test though before getting a pass to the nurse.
On the way to her office, through the cold (to me, anyway) hallways, I thought I was going to fall over from shaking so hard.
When I got there the nurse asked me a couple of questions, which I answered, and then I waited in her office to feel better. Obviously, I didn't, and so I asked her if I could go home. This is the first time I've been dismissed since elementary school. Since she didn't really know me, she let me go, but because dad didn't have the car today, I had to take the bus and then walk home from the stop. That wasn't as bad as I had imagined it would be; the bus came right away and the walk could almost have been pleasant if I had felt a little better and hadn't felt so starkly conspicuous, a student trekking home hours before the close of school.
I don't know what my issue is. It's as though my sanity and health is a spinning top...the slightest thing causes it to come off balance and crashing to a halt...and even if nothing happens to it, it slowly winds down to stasis anyway. EVERYTHING throws me off nowadays. Not enough sleep. Too much sleep. Eating. Not eating. And prolonged cold, as evidenced by today. I'm tired of being affected so adversely by everything I have to do. I don't know how to change it. Mom says that if I force myself to eat when I'm not hungry, then I'll have the energy to stay more healthy. Well, that's what I did last night. It doesn't seem to have helped too much.
And well, now that I'm home, I'm going to go curl up in bed and sulk.
~Rai
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Date: 2005-02-01 10:12 pm (UTC)*jumps around over shohnen jump*
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Date: 2005-02-01 10:40 pm (UTC)Farmer in the Dell. Only not really. Thanks, by the way. :]
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Date: 2005-02-01 10:38 pm (UTC)