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arrowwhiskersSo I finally finished my essay. It required 2 nights of literally not sleeping at all, I passed it in late, and it still wasn't all that good. I don't know what my problem was around that particular assignment, but it just... I don't know. I'm so glad it's over, though.
I don't really feel like writing about my service learning for this week, but I know I have to.
So this week I got my first experience in "working with people that truly vex me". I got assigned to tutor another person, instead of just working idly in the computer class...and she's so dislikable. Her name is Annekhia or something, and she's from Albania.
First off, she has THE most foul breath that I've ever encountered ever, which is a problem since I have to converse with her one on one for an entire hour. I mean, I know I'm not always the freshest myself, but I at least make an effort to use mint spray or chew gum when I know I'm going to be inflicting my breath on other people.
Secondly, she's arrogant and contradicts what she claims she wants. She says she wants to be corrected, EVERY mistake she makes, but then when I do so, and repeat it many times, she gets insulted, saying "yes I got it the first time". If she wants to actually learn and be taught, why doesn't she make an effort to repeat things and cement them in her brain? It should be noted that at times she does make the same mistakes more than once.
She whines about her life. She said she wanted to go to law school, but then had to move to America with her family...which is really terrible and all, but over the course of talking to her, she almost made it feel like it was somehow *my* fault. Wtf, seriously.
She also whined about how bad her English was, despite my protests that it was, in fact, very good, and proceeded to get defensive about it when I explained things in simple terms to ensure that she'd understand me. There's just something about our dynamic that's totally off.
I felt the hour dragging away, each minute finished a sort of small victory. I wonder how HS workers work with people that they hate? I think that most of the time, they realize it early and change the match, but there must be some situations in which that isn't possible. I wonder how they deal with that, since I'm wondering how good of a teacher I'll be if I end up hating her guts.
This experience, however, has helped me to realize that I need to admit something to myself about Japanese. I haven't talked about it that extensively here, but basically, I despise my Japanese class--almost everything about it. The methods and the scheduling of lessons is terrible and seems almost completely irrational; the material moves too fast so people get flustered (but I'm familiar with most of it, so it seems to move slowly); and there was, until very recently, EXTREMELY little interaction between just two people--with a more typical approach entailing the teacher holding up cards and the entire class reading them off.
It is also my first class of the day, always. It's at 9.15 in the morning, and it's basically the last thing in the world I want to wake myself up for and drag myself off to. It sets a precedent of grumpiness over my whole day, since it seems so pointless and condescending.
BUT.
I need to get a few things straight. First of all, I'm not even nearly as good at Japanese as I would like to think I am. I have had a lot of exposure, but that's not the same thing as actual knowledge and experience, so I shouldn't feel self-righteous about knowing it all when I don't really at all. I got it into my head somehow that I should be in Japanese 2, so I've been feeling annoyed at studying, at showing up, and at having assignments. But at the same time, I sometimes make mistakes, especially in things like numbers and even while I know most things, I still have to think before they come out (it's not just effortless, in most cases); I need to put in some effort to get myself up to a really skilled level. However, since I have this kind of arrogance and disgust, I feel like I am somehow above studying, so then I'm even slower on the uptake, and that just offends my arrogant sensibilities even more.
And it's *so bad*. I really need to work harder, I really need to put a halt to this fantasy that I'm somehow really skilled and better and aloof. It's not doing anybody any good. Frankly, I don't think that anything is really going to be able to make me *like* that class, but at least I can be more fair and reasonable in my hating it. THat's my resolution for the rest of the semester, I think.
Speaking of frustrations, today I ended up going to the RMV since I realized it's probably a bad thing to be 19 years old, without a driver's liscence and therefore without any OTHER form of ID besides a passport. So I spent today wandering back to ARlington to get my birth certificate and all that other junk, and then to Chinatown to get the paperwork set up. THe people there were so tiresome and rude, but at least it's done. Though apparently, the temporary one they gave me until the real one comes in the mail "isn't valid identification". Wtf, what's the point of issuing it? Bleh.
Between voting, and this RMV crap...I feel like I've been living between school and Arlington all week long--and it's utterly exhausting. It's really, really draining to live in two places at once; I don't understand how Katie does it. But at the same time, I'm totally going back to Arlington tomorrow to go rock climbing. Hopefully it ends up being worth it.
I don't really feel like writing about my service learning for this week, but I know I have to.
So this week I got my first experience in "working with people that truly vex me". I got assigned to tutor another person, instead of just working idly in the computer class...and she's so dislikable. Her name is Annekhia or something, and she's from Albania.
First off, she has THE most foul breath that I've ever encountered ever, which is a problem since I have to converse with her one on one for an entire hour. I mean, I know I'm not always the freshest myself, but I at least make an effort to use mint spray or chew gum when I know I'm going to be inflicting my breath on other people.
Secondly, she's arrogant and contradicts what she claims she wants. She says she wants to be corrected, EVERY mistake she makes, but then when I do so, and repeat it many times, she gets insulted, saying "yes I got it the first time". If she wants to actually learn and be taught, why doesn't she make an effort to repeat things and cement them in her brain? It should be noted that at times she does make the same mistakes more than once.
She whines about her life. She said she wanted to go to law school, but then had to move to America with her family...which is really terrible and all, but over the course of talking to her, she almost made it feel like it was somehow *my* fault. Wtf, seriously.
She also whined about how bad her English was, despite my protests that it was, in fact, very good, and proceeded to get defensive about it when I explained things in simple terms to ensure that she'd understand me. There's just something about our dynamic that's totally off.
I felt the hour dragging away, each minute finished a sort of small victory. I wonder how HS workers work with people that they hate? I think that most of the time, they realize it early and change the match, but there must be some situations in which that isn't possible. I wonder how they deal with that, since I'm wondering how good of a teacher I'll be if I end up hating her guts.
This experience, however, has helped me to realize that I need to admit something to myself about Japanese. I haven't talked about it that extensively here, but basically, I despise my Japanese class--almost everything about it. The methods and the scheduling of lessons is terrible and seems almost completely irrational; the material moves too fast so people get flustered (but I'm familiar with most of it, so it seems to move slowly); and there was, until very recently, EXTREMELY little interaction between just two people--with a more typical approach entailing the teacher holding up cards and the entire class reading them off.
It is also my first class of the day, always. It's at 9.15 in the morning, and it's basically the last thing in the world I want to wake myself up for and drag myself off to. It sets a precedent of grumpiness over my whole day, since it seems so pointless and condescending.
BUT.
I need to get a few things straight. First of all, I'm not even nearly as good at Japanese as I would like to think I am. I have had a lot of exposure, but that's not the same thing as actual knowledge and experience, so I shouldn't feel self-righteous about knowing it all when I don't really at all. I got it into my head somehow that I should be in Japanese 2, so I've been feeling annoyed at studying, at showing up, and at having assignments. But at the same time, I sometimes make mistakes, especially in things like numbers and even while I know most things, I still have to think before they come out (it's not just effortless, in most cases); I need to put in some effort to get myself up to a really skilled level. However, since I have this kind of arrogance and disgust, I feel like I am somehow above studying, so then I'm even slower on the uptake, and that just offends my arrogant sensibilities even more.
And it's *so bad*. I really need to work harder, I really need to put a halt to this fantasy that I'm somehow really skilled and better and aloof. It's not doing anybody any good. Frankly, I don't think that anything is really going to be able to make me *like* that class, but at least I can be more fair and reasonable in my hating it. THat's my resolution for the rest of the semester, I think.
Speaking of frustrations, today I ended up going to the RMV since I realized it's probably a bad thing to be 19 years old, without a driver's liscence and therefore without any OTHER form of ID besides a passport. So I spent today wandering back to ARlington to get my birth certificate and all that other junk, and then to Chinatown to get the paperwork set up. THe people there were so tiresome and rude, but at least it's done. Though apparently, the temporary one they gave me until the real one comes in the mail "isn't valid identification". Wtf, what's the point of issuing it? Bleh.
Between voting, and this RMV crap...I feel like I've been living between school and Arlington all week long--and it's utterly exhausting. It's really, really draining to live in two places at once; I don't understand how Katie does it. But at the same time, I'm totally going back to Arlington tomorrow to go rock climbing. Hopefully it ends up being worth it.
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no subject
Date: 2008-02-09 11:18 pm (UTC)I actually sort of miss Arlington. I never lived there, but I spent a good deal of time there, it being right next to Medford, my sister and cousin living there, and having friends etc. there. It's like a nice little berg (though that term be not completely accurate). Ho hum.
I think you need a vacation, dear.