The plot thickens.
Feb. 4th, 2005 05:43 pmThis has not been my week. It just hasn't. Today has been the worst day this week, even worse than Tuesday. I went back to school today and saw all my friends, so it should have been a therapeutic, optimistic, recovery day. It was, kinda. I was so happy to see Carol and Danny and Bear and Katie and Giulia and everyone else again, and in psychology we watched this cool movie about this teacher teaching hands-on discrimination. She essentially staked brown eyed children against blue eyed ones. And Mr. Duranceau was merciful and didn't make me take the chemistry test, so I sat and drew kitties while my class writhed in agony around me. I don't seem to be that behind in any classes except chemistry and English, which is amazing considering I was basically out for three days.
What made today so vile is that the French people aren't coming. There was a conflict with their administration, and payment deadlines, and AirFrance, or something, and it didn't work out, so it's not going to happen. That's more than just a disappointment...the exchange program was really the only thing I was looking forward to! Like, at all! It was a beacon of excitement and hope and inspiration in my future, and it was just extinguished, just like that. How can they do that? Not just to me, but to everyone in the class, to the French students! Poor them! ...But I'm mostly sorry for myself. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I've been in eager anticipation of this for months. I suppose I could ask Olivia to visit over the summer, but as if that's going to happen. And it's not as fun as having a bunch of French people wandering around AHS. There's no replacement for that! We were all so ready, and it was for nothing. I'm having a hard time thinking of another reason to persist in life. @_@ I'm too unhealthy to really plan anything fun anymore...and with my personal life aside, it's just school school school. And then there's the summer, and then it's work work work work. And then more school. I needed my little light in the distance to keep me motivated. -___- I need to find another reason to live. Anyone know how to pluck raisons d'ĂȘtre out of the clouds?
Okay. I am calm. Caaaaaallm. Happy thoughts.
...Yeah. We read some of le Petit Prince in French class today, which made me interested enough to want to reread it. I haven't read it since I was eight, so I didn't much remember the story. It's really sad...but really good. Totally worth the half hour it takes to read.
We're going out to dinner tonight, supposedly. Delayed version of Isaac's birthday dinner outing thing. That might be kinda fun at least. I'm feeling physically better at the moment, even though Matty whomped me in the head pretty badly afterschool and that had me out of it for a little while. All I did was make a snide comment...Matty, chill out, man. >.>;;
I'm too depressed to write anything else, so I may go absorb myself in the Gundam Wing DVD that Carol lent me. I also have a lot of new drawings, some of which are decent, so I'll be uploading those later too if I'm not too lazy. Yeah.
Happy thoughts...
What made today so vile is that the French people aren't coming. There was a conflict with their administration, and payment deadlines, and AirFrance, or something, and it didn't work out, so it's not going to happen. That's more than just a disappointment...the exchange program was really the only thing I was looking forward to! Like, at all! It was a beacon of excitement and hope and inspiration in my future, and it was just extinguished, just like that. How can they do that? Not just to me, but to everyone in the class, to the French students! Poor them! ...But I'm mostly sorry for myself. I have nothing to look forward to anymore. I've been in eager anticipation of this for months. I suppose I could ask Olivia to visit over the summer, but as if that's going to happen. And it's not as fun as having a bunch of French people wandering around AHS. There's no replacement for that! We were all so ready, and it was for nothing. I'm having a hard time thinking of another reason to persist in life. @_@ I'm too unhealthy to really plan anything fun anymore...and with my personal life aside, it's just school school school. And then there's the summer, and then it's work work work work. And then more school. I needed my little light in the distance to keep me motivated. -___- I need to find another reason to live. Anyone know how to pluck raisons d'ĂȘtre out of the clouds?
Okay. I am calm. Caaaaaallm. Happy thoughts.
...Yeah. We read some of le Petit Prince in French class today, which made me interested enough to want to reread it. I haven't read it since I was eight, so I didn't much remember the story. It's really sad...but really good. Totally worth the half hour it takes to read.
We're going out to dinner tonight, supposedly. Delayed version of Isaac's birthday dinner outing thing. That might be kinda fun at least. I'm feeling physically better at the moment, even though Matty whomped me in the head pretty badly afterschool and that had me out of it for a little while. All I did was make a snide comment...Matty, chill out, man. >.>;;
I'm too depressed to write anything else, so I may go absorb myself in the Gundam Wing DVD that Carol lent me. I also have a lot of new drawings, some of which are decent, so I'll be uploading those later too if I'm not too lazy. Yeah.
Happy thoughts...