*shrugs* you can comment if you want, I don't mind. I'm just really bad about answering comments, most of the time.
Also, I'd love to read it. You can either send me the link through LJ or you can just email it if you want, my email is silentforatime@hotmail.com
It is just kind of odd to me that you like my journal, since mostly I feel like I'm totally rambling. I guess I'm glad that it's fun reading, though.
I think another big part of it is though, that you aren't seeing most of my really scathing, self-pitying, angry bitching-someone-out entries because those I tend to post either privately just to myself, or under a really stringent friend filter so I can police who gets to see them. Just, y'know, so that I don't go on a rampage about how much someone is pissing me off only to have them find it someday down the road. Most of the time when I'm angry at someone or blaming them for something, I get over it pretty readily, so it's better to just vent it, move on, and leave no evidence. Haha.
But yeah, I agree that my life really is kind of a voyage of discovery, since I have *no idea* who I am or what I want. The idea of memory loss adds an interesting dimension, too, since I think that's a big part of it--we forget way more than we think we do, like sometimes when I'm bored I reread my journal and switch to a totally random day and I'm like *wow*, I totally forgot about that. I think that it's necessary though, like I think the reason I'm no longer homesick is because in a fundamental way I've forgotten the details of what it feels like to be home. And stuff like that. I dunno. But I do find that I feel really secure when I write in my journal, like I'm making a note of how I felt today to prove to myself that at least at the time, it mattered.
Haha. I understand that you're not an angel -- none of us is. It's the fact that you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings unnecessarily that I find so laudable. I think most people just wouldn't care, especially in the heat of the moment.
I think I know what you mean about somehow validating your existence by documenting it. For instance I'm an inveterate list-maker, keeping track of everything I read, listen to, or watch. Aside from aiding my memory later on, it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something other than working, eating, and sleeping ...
I did e-mail you three SIGNUM pieces. Thanks for your interest : )
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
branchandroot
no subject
Date: 2008-09-29 01:28 am (UTC)Also, I'd love to read it. You can either send me the link through LJ or you can just email it if you want, my email is silentforatime@hotmail.com
It is just kind of odd to me that you like my journal, since mostly I feel like I'm totally rambling. I guess I'm glad that it's fun reading, though.
I think another big part of it is though, that you aren't seeing most of my really scathing, self-pitying, angry bitching-someone-out entries because those I tend to post either privately just to myself, or under a really stringent friend filter so I can police who gets to see them. Just, y'know, so that I don't go on a rampage about how much someone is pissing me off only to have them find it someday down the road. Most of the time when I'm angry at someone or blaming them for something, I get over it pretty readily, so it's better to just vent it, move on, and leave no evidence. Haha.
But yeah, I agree that my life really is kind of a voyage of discovery, since I have *no idea* who I am or what I want. The idea of memory loss adds an interesting dimension, too, since I think that's a big part of it--we forget way more than we think we do, like sometimes when I'm bored I reread my journal and switch to a totally random day and I'm like *wow*, I totally forgot about that. I think that it's necessary though, like I think the reason I'm no longer homesick is because in a fundamental way I've forgotten the details of what it feels like to be home. And stuff like that. I dunno. But I do find that I feel really secure when I write in my journal, like I'm making a note of how I felt today to prove to myself that at least at the time, it mattered.
But yeah, anyway, I'd love to read your writings.
no subject
Date: 2008-09-29 08:53 pm (UTC)I think I know what you mean about somehow validating your existence by documenting it. For instance I'm an inveterate list-maker, keeping track of everything I read, listen to, or watch. Aside from aiding my memory later on, it makes me feel like I'm accomplishing something other than working, eating, and sleeping ...
I did e-mail you three SIGNUM pieces. Thanks for your interest : )